 |
|
 Diane’s
Story
My boyfriend of two years always told me that he was going to “knock me up” so we would be together forever. Now, it seemed like that was really going to happen. After suspecting I was pregnant, I bought a pregnancy test. Sure enough, it was positive. It was love at first sight when I met my boyfriend through mutual friends on my 25th birthday. Nine months later, we became engaged. Little did I know that our relationship would have many ups and downs. |
|
Shortly after our engagement, I found out that my boyfriend was still seeing his ex-girlfriend and that he was actually dating her when we began courting. Our relationship quickly came to an end, just after a few months of engagement, but he kept begging me to take him back. As a fool, I took him back several times before I told him that our relationship was definitely over. That didn’t stop him from calling me. He promised me the world, and I believed him because he sounded sincere when he cried on the phone. I couldn’t believe how much we were fighting since I became pregnant. Finally, he convinced me that an abortion was the right thing to do. I didn’t really want to do this. I knew my parents were upset with me. But at this point, I really didn’t care if my boyfriend or my family disowned me. I truly felt in my heart that having an abortion was the wrong thing to do. Even though I felt this way, I still called the abortion clinic and made an appointment. Having to wait two weeks until my appointment, I began looking in the phone book and saw an ad for the Lake County Women’s Center. I was a basket case as I called and talked to Penny on the phone. She comforted me and asked me if I could come to the office right away. At the office, Penny took another pregnancy test, which was positive within seconds. I cried because I didn’t know what to do. After showing me a video on abortion and one on embryo and fetal growth, I instantly made up my mind that abortion was not an option for me. Penny explained all of the different programs that TWC offered women. I knew that when my family and friends found out about my pregnancy, I would lose them and couldn’t count on them for support. Penny promised me that she would be there for me anytime, day or night. She gave me her home telephone and work numbers. As I left the office, I started to get a little excited about having a baby. Then, I instantly began crying as I started to think about my broken dreams. I was 27, a college graduate with a great job that I really enjoyed, but I wasn’t married. I always thought that I would marry the most perfect man, have money set aside, then start a family—a big family. I wanted five children, a beautiful house with a picket fence and a dog. That dream was shattered. Later, that evening, I began to bleed and have severe pain in my right leg. Going to the emergency room, I was afraid that I was having a miscarriage. After all the tests were done, I found out that not only was I between two and three weeks pregnant, but that I had kidney stones in my right kidney. The day after going to the ER, I told my family that I was pregnant. They were very upset with me and didn’t contact me unless they had something negative to say, especially about being pregnant and not married. I felt so ashamed. While going through all of this, I kept in contact with Penny. She gave me hope and told me that God was on my side. During this time, my boyfriend was there only when he wanted something. He gradually warmed up to the idea of having a child, but then changed his mind just as fast. After five months, my boyfriend told me to put the baby up for adoption, that I didn’t have a choice in the matter. He stressed the fact that “we” were not fit to be parents because our relationship was so bad. Things eventually got a little better and we moved in together. But soon trouble started again. The house that we were renting was costing us a fortune. He lived with me for two days and moved out one day when I wasn’t home. Calling me a day later, he told me that I was “stupid for keeping the kid” in the first place. Becoming depressed, I just wanted to crawl under the biggest rock I could find and die. I felt there was no hope for this baby and me. I couldn’t see light at the end of the tunnel. Upset and crying, I called Penny and met her at the Center where we talked for three hours. Both Penny and Marci, another counselor, were inspirational to me as they helped me see light at the end of the tunnel. We discussed several options that TWC could provide for my unborn child and me that would help us get through this difficult time. Penny told me that I was in her prayers, and I honestly believe that I am. After talking with Penny and Marci, things started to fall into place. My younger sister, Katie, helped to change my mother’s mind. She convinced her that this child was “our blood,” and we had to stick together. In explaining all that’s happened over the past few months, I haven’t mentioned that I’m a geriatric nurse. I work in a nursing home, taking care of the elderly. I’m not only their caregiver, but I’m also their family and friend. If they need someone to talk to or need to have a shoulder to cry on, I’m always there. Not long ago, something came to me and I said to myself "Diane, you’re a nurturing and caring person. You take care of the sick and debilitated. You have such patience with people. How could you ever consider giving up part of yourself?" I thought to myself, how could I have thought such a thing when I have so much to offer my child? I know that this ordeal with my pregnancy isn’t over yet—I have four long months to go. One thing is for sure—I’ll never consider giving my baby up for adoption. It took me a long time to realize this. Also, I need to stop worrying about everyone else and start putting my baby and myself first. Penny, at TWC, helped me through the ups and downs of the past few months. If she hadn’t, I might have made a mistake I could never live with.
|