“I’m not sure I’m pregnant, but if I am, how far along am I?”

First, you must know for sure if you are pregnant. This requires a valid test. Sometimes home pregnancy tests can be inaccurate. We suggest a physician to administer the test. If you don’t have a physician or don’t know of one, the Lake County Women’s Center offers a free pregnancy test while you wait and can refer you to a physician. A helpful counselor can tell you how far along you are in your pregnancy.

“I had unprotected sex last night. How soon can I know if I’m pregnant?”

Human chorionic gonadotrophin (hCG) is a hormone secreted by the developing placenta shortly after fertilization. In normal pregnancy, this hormone, hCG, can be detected as early as 7 days following conception or sexual intercourse.

“My parents are going to be so disappointed and upset with me. What should I do?”

These may be some things your parents say to you:

It’s natural for parents to react and be upset initially. Every family is different. It could be that this crisis pregnancy will be an event that brings you closer together. Most people, friends, family and boyfriend will “rise to the occasion” and may surprise you once you make the decision to carry your baby to term.

“OK, but what if my parents tell me they’ll kick me out or that I have to have an abortion?”

As you plan for your future, there are many possibilities available to you that you may not be aware of. As a woman/girl, no matter what age you are, you have certain rights.

Whether you are very young, physically or mentally challenged, or economically unable to care for a baby – no one can force you to have an abortion. Young girls tend to feel awful about becoming pregnant, and when a parent insists that they have an abortion, they feel they must do this in order to have a good relationship with that parent. This normally does not help but makes the situation worse now and later on in life. If a parent takes you to have an abortion, and you are not sure you really want one, let the doctor know that someone is forcing you into this decision and they will not perform the abortion.

There are many maternity homes locally and nationwide. Most homes accommodate all ages and some accommodate up to two to three children with quality childcare. Job training and placement are available, too.

“How could I ever afford doctor bills?”

Most hospitals have a plan set up for women to make payments at a level that they can afford either before the baby is born or after. Most hospitals will not turn you away if you are in labor. Usually, there is a prenatal care service for women who are unable to pay through the hospital of your choice. There are many government programs that can assist and pay for the pregnancy, labor and delivery charges. There are hundreds of organizations nationwide ready to help you with items needed before and after the birth of your baby such as: diapers, formula, furniture, maternity clothes, infant and toddler clothes. These organizations also refer for childcare, job placement, housing, parenting education and more. To receive more information on any of the above topics of interest, call 1-800-395-HELP.

“What if my boyfriend/husband says he will leave me?”

This is a valid concern. No one can say what decision your boyfriend/husband will make except him. Even if you feel you know him well, he may still choose to leave you or to stay. But there is one thing you can know for sure and that is what decision you will make. If you make a decision based upon someone else, you may be disappointed. There are many reasons for his irresponsibility for his actions. Please do not feel pressured into getting an abortion because of his irresponsibility. If you are feeling any confusion or uneasiness about abortion, please call 1-800-395-HELP and a counselor can help you sort through the feelings you are having.

“What responsibilities does the father of the child have?”

The rights and responsibilities of the father are dependant upon the applicable state law. However, you do have some control as a mother. Mothers have the option of “Unknown” or “Refuse to State” in place of the father’s name. Although, if the father wants to be known and claim his paternal rights, he may be able to have his name added to the birth certificate. You may relinquish any public assistance such as Medicaid, Food Stamps, etc. if you refuse to make the father known.

“What if I want the father to be known and collect child support?”

Again, the specific procedure to be followed depends on the applicable state law. The mother, father and baby must be tested. This can be done voluntarily or through a court order. Realize that when you collect child support through the courts, which is the only sure way to receive your support, the father will usually then receive visitation rights. To find out more about Genetic Paternity Testing, call 1-800-IDENTITY.

“I’m not ready to have a baby. How can I get out of this mess?”

If you are pregnant and this was not a planned pregnancy, you must be under a great deal of stress. No one can fully understand exactly what you are experiencing with this unplanned pregnancy. You may be experiencing illness with your pregnancy or think you are too young to have a baby or too old to have another. Maybe your relationship is strained with your parents, boyfriend/husband or friends. Economically, you may not be ready for a child at this time. It may be all of the above and then some. Each situation is unique and cannot be taken lightly. Whether you are struggling with deciding to parent your child, aborting or choosing a family to take care of your child, you have a lot to think about. Most couples, whether married or single, do not have the best of circumstances. Women often share that when they had to make a decision between parenting, adoption or abortion, they realize that the circumstances they had at the time of their pregnancies were temporary and the joy of having a child outweighs all the rest.

If I’m going to carry the baby for 9 months, I might as well keep it.” Abortion seems the easiest solution, right?”

You’re right that it seems to be easiest solution because it is fairly quick to have an abortion (approximately 3-4 hour procedure). Most women don’t realize the aftermath of an abortion, though. You may have a friend or friends who’ve had abortions and say there were no problems. This is common. Data has been collected for 25 years to show that there is Post Abortion Syndrome. Common symptoms include: regret, depression, nightmares, avoidance of babies and many other symptoms as well. There are many complications and risks involved that should not be taken lightly. Ironically, after an abortion, dating relationships suffer due to the guilt and blame that is passed back and forth. Many women who have had an abortion want to let other women know what they went through so that they can save someone else from the pain and future problems they have faced.